She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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