dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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