I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
