I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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