Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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