We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
