talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
