I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize