He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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