Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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