You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it glows. i had to have it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
