Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
