508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
