sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
