i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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