well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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