I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
