What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
