pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize