In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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