This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
