oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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