I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
