I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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