do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
