Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did I show you my penis last night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
