Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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