After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
