How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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