upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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