I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
