did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
