In the future we'll all be gay
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize