Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
