I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
