I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
