dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
