Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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