enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
