Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
