Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
