I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i've created a new STD.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
