I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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