you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize