If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
