So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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