There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
