please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
