Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
