Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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