Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
