I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
