brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
