I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
