Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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