4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
