turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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