Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize