You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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