that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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