Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
