Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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