No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize